Tonto Anus
Earth's first real Alien living on Earth!g
Please help me get
back to Uranus!
My spaceship crashed on this crazy planet, on May 1st, 2025, in
Weiner, Arkansas (Yes its a real town.........look it up)
I need help getting back to Uranus.
You earthlings are too insane for me.
Bio
Born in XenoCaprica over 2,000 years ago to Harry & Wendy Anus.
I was given the name Tonto Anus because it translates to "Brave Warrior" (at least that's what I was told)
I was trained as a youth to fly fighter crafts and later was a pilot in the Revolutionary Space War.
I received my advanced degree in Scientific Earth studies with a minor in basket weaving.
While studying Earth, I became obsessed with the great musical earthling known as Harry Styles. He makes all 3 of my hearts skip a beat.
I relocated to Uranus because the smell on XenoCaprica had gotten overbearing and I had always heard that Uranus is a nice place to be.
I'm pretty good with the female robots, if you know what I mean. Any attractive female Druids out there, please hit me up on Tinder.
How I ended up here
I was visiting earth on a simple scientific study mission. These missions have been happening for thousands of years as the galaxy federation has been trying to figure out what to do with the "blacksheep planet" (earth) of the galaxy.
Earthlings have long been considered the dumbest species in the galaxy. The future shows that earth is on course to destroy itself due to pure stupidity. I had just flown over the state of Arkansas when I shot at by Hillbillies which caused my flux capicitor to fail and crash into earth.
I was chased by these "hillbillies" as they yelled, "come here boy, You sure do have a pretty mouth"
I lost all communication with my planet and am currently stuck with all these earthlings.
For the love of God, somebody help me!
